The brief

Eurovision 2023 needed a tone of voice that perfectly combined the tragedy of the war in Ukraine with the joy of a party in Liverpool. My mates at Pals decided I was the man for the job.

The process

Where do you even start with a job like this? Well, the first thing I did was scream for a while, then run around the house, then sign a massive NDA, then run around a bit more. Then I did what anyone with any sense would do and spent a while researching former Ukrainian footballers who’d played for Liverpool. After that, I got started.

There was a fine balancing act with this brief. Eurovision is a massive party full of colour, joy and strange fashion choices, but all the while there was a war going on in the country who should have been hosting it. The job needed sensitivity, but it also needed determination, but it also needed to be politically careful, but it also needed to be a big fuck you to Russia, but it also needed not to offend, but it also kinda wanted to offend, but also… ah you get the point, it was tricky.

I settled on some tonal pillars that sounded just about right. The overarching idea was around unity, hope, defiance and Scouse spirit. Andriy Voronin also featured. The end result was seen by over 160 million people across Europe, which is approximately 320 million eyes, which is EASILY the most eyes that have ever seen my work. I may never stop buzzing.

The outcome

One all singing, all dancing tone of voice for the biggest party on the planet. Gran, I’m on the telly, sort of.

Here’s a picture of Rylan, because no-one wants to look at a picture of a Google Doc. (Unless you do, in which case let me know. I’m happy to share.)