I hate clichés. Predictable ideas, boring work that has been done before, and 99% of the content on LinkedIn makes me want to remove my own flesh and soak into the soil.
Sadly, I work in marketing, so this shit surrounds me all the time.
In January, the air is full of it. We’re polluted with creative crap that scrapes the barrel of what you can class as an idea. Whether it’s trying to get you to join a gym, eat better, chase a new job or give up that crippling meth addiction, marketing wheels are whirring away to push out the cheapest content they can produce in the hope you’ll pay attention.
Which is weird, because if they did that in, say, April, you’d call it out.
You’d see that recruitment ad telling you it’s time to become the person you always wanted to be, and instantly spot that there’s no actual thinking behind it.
You’d spot the poster for the gym and realise you can’t justifying £40 a month just to get sweaty on your lunch break.
You’d be smarter than marketing, wouldn’t you? Because you’re a good, bright person. Bullshit can’t fool you.
So why, in January, do people who are supposedly experts in their field think it will work? Why do people who work in an industry whose soul intent is to disrupt your regular thought process and make you think about something else, continue to push the same things you see every year?
Today I did as I do every day, and scrolled through LinkedIn hoping to find someone willing to pay loads of money to a sarcastic writer with a teenager’s haircut to write something witty and irreverent.
I did the same on Twitter, even Facebook.
The amount of shit I saw was astronomical. Admittedly, that’s nothing new on LinkedIn, where everything is always shit,* but it still hurts to see. There are people out there – creative people who have dreams, who grew up wanting to change the world – being forced to create things that will already be forgotten about by the time a copywriter comes to write an angry blog about them.
Is January some kind of magical time when people will discard the person they’ve always been, and decide that, yes, this is the time they want to take up a brand-new career?
No, it’s just another month, just as shit as all the other months, just as melancholy as every other passing moment in our existence, just another period of time that will pass by without note as the world crumbles around us and our dreams gradually turn into resentment.
You like eating pies. January isn’t going to change that.
You enjoy sitting at your desk, earning an average salary for doing the least work possible. January won’t change that either.
As for trying to stop you drinking? If January achieved that, you’d literally have no reason left to live.
Fuck January. Be the person you want to be whenever you want to be them, and don’t let a month bully you into thinking any differently.
*I’ve posted this on LinkedIn, meaning this too is now shit.