There’s a man that lives under my bed,
He’ll stay there until he gets fed.
I thought he was just in my head,
But he’s right there beneath me instead.
I know this because of his snoring,
The sound of it’s getting quite boring.
And despite my most eager imploring,
He continues to vibrate my flooring.
I hope that he’ll leave when he’s full,
As his company’s just getting dull.
On my duvet he’s starting to pull,
If he stays then I’ll smash in his skull.